1. Go to the big box store of your choice and purchase a red bandanna. Really, this step is optional if you already have one, but it is the source of the $1.89 expenditure.
2. Borrow your husband's loudest... I mean AWESOMEST shirt.
3. Cuff the sleeves, because apparently your husband's knuckles drag on the ground.
4. Put on your really comfy wide-legged capris. The one's the kids refer to as your "pirate pants."
5. Put on your slouchy knee high boots. Because you can't have pirate pants without pirate boots.
6. Put your belt on the outside of your shirt. Wish you had a sword.
7. Wear a lot of necklaces. Like, a lot.
8. Wish you didn't look pregnant in the picture you decided to share on the internet. Because you are so totally not.